Not divided or conquered
by Dreaming of Jack
Summary: What if the team forced Sam and Jack to face their feelings? SJ obviously. Trying my hand at longer fics every once in a while. Please, please help me out by reviewing! FINAL CHAPTER 4 up now! I hope you like it...
1. Chapter 1

"We have to do something.", Janet said quietly to Daniel and Teal'c in the hallway outside the briefing room. "I know that they're not zatarcs."

"Yes, I know, we all think that, Janet", Daniel said urgently to her. "But that becomes completely irrelevant unless we can prove it.without a doubt. And I just don't see how we are going to do that."

" I think that there's a problem here, " she continued. "Not with the machine itself, but with Jack and Sam. Now hear me out, " she continued, as Daniel started to sputter and Teal'c's eyebrow raised almost to the ceiling. " I think that they're, for a very good reason, not being completly honest with themselves ."What in the world are you talking about? " asked Daniel, frustrated. "I think that they are the most completely honest people that I think I have ever met in my life.There is just no way that they could be lying about anything. It's just not possible.."

" What if ", Janet continued quietly. "something had happened on that mission that we know nothing about. Something that forced them to confront their true feelings for each other. Do you think that they could admit it, even to themselves, much less a room full of people? That is something that can't be ignored by General Hammond, if he finds out, you know."

"Their true feelings, what do you mean, their true feelings ", Daniel countered. " They're friends, we're a team, they..." he broke off as Janet and Teal'c just looked wordlessly at him.

" What... you mean Sam and Jack..." Daniel stumbled over the words as memories of past missions came to his mind. Of glances between them. How they always seemed so comfortable together. So easy and bantering and trusting. He remembered how they had always seemed to be in stride together, and how they always seemed to fall naturally into each others company whether off world, or in the mess or control room. How Jack had the utmost respect for Sam's knowledge, and how she sometimes shook with silent laughter at his jokes. How the alternate reality Sam and Jack had been happily and passionately in love. How they had naturally chosen each other for mates when infected with the alien virus. How much Sam had tried to bring Jack back from Edora, and was devastated when she found out about the woman Laira. And most important of all, how he knew that they would give their lives for each other without question or even pause.

" I, myself, have noticed that Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill possess a strong bond that could be taken for much more than mere friendship", Teal'c said to him. " And yet, I do not think that they have ignored the regulations concerning relationships between the military of this world. Rather, that they have respected these rules to the utmost, which makes this situation most difficult. Will they not continue to deny, what should be obvious for them to see, rather than risk punishment or dismiissal?"

"So what now, " Daniel said to them. "How on earth do we do this.."

" Well, I'll talk to Sam, obviously," Janet said. " And I guess you two better figure out which one of you confronts Jack." She smiled knowingly as she walked down the hall toward the confinement room where her friend was.


	2. Janet talks to Sam

The door to the security room opened and Janet walked in to find Sam sitting with her knees tucked up underneath her chin staring into space.

"Hi, Sam," Janet said softly to her friend, noticing her hands were clenched so tightly around her ankles that her knuckles showed white.. "How are you holding up." Sam looked down, and for a second or two didn't answer, seeming almost numb to the fact that Janet was even there talking to her. Then she took a deep breath and looked at her friend with her eyes swimming with unshed tears. " Oh, Janet, " she whispered. " What am I going to do. I don't know what to do. Usually I can figure situations out no matter what, but this time, I don't know, I feel so lost. I don't know what to do to prove that we aren't what they think we are. I don't want to lose my commission or have the Colonel lose his, and I just can't figure it out. Why can't I figure it out", her usually calm voice cracking and rising a notch.

" Ssh, Sam, it'll be okay", Janet said, sitting on the bench beside her and putting her arms around her in a comforting hug . " I think that things are going to work out, but we need to talk. I think that there's a few things that you have to come to grips with here first in order to make it work. We can try to do that together, okay/"

"What do you mean?", Sam asked, raising her head from her friends shoulder and staring into her eyes. "I have gone over this a hundred times in my mind already, to see if there was something, some little detail I was forgetting that would make all the difference, and I just can't think of one. "

Janet was silent for a second, hoping against hope that what she had to say to her was not going to damage their relationship. Sam had never been forthcoming about her feelings, always keeping it on a light and easy, almost semi-professional level. She would gossip and chat informally like the rest of the women on base, but when it came to her love life, Janet was as much in the dark as she ever was. Even the little girly things that the other women giggled about concerning any of the men on base, Teal'cs superb physique, Daniel's beautiful eyes and smile, or Jack's devastating presence didn't open her up in any way. Rather, it almost made her more silent, as if commenting at all would be committing herself into something that she couldn't handle. She wondered if she had ever had close girlfriends before she came to the SGC, and thought probably not. The brilliant scientific mind would not have inspired much camaraderie, more likely jealousy or ridicule. She knew that she had never had a sister, and wondered if her friend had been had been as regimented and spartan emotionally in her teenage and early womanhood years as she was now. She doubted that forcing these long smothered feelings out of her would be easy, and no matter what happened, she treasured the friendship between her and Samantha Carter and didn't want to jeopardize that in any way. Sam was one of the few people she had met that she instinctively knew would be her friend for life, for thick and thin. But she was going to have to test that theory now, and and it wouldn't be easy. But whatever feelings that she had for her CO had to be faced, thanks to Freya, and bringing them to light would be even harder for Sam than fighting a whole army of oncoming Gou'ald.

"Okay," Janet said. "Now, Sam, I think I need to talk to you, not professionally, but as your friend. You know that you can trust me, right? " Sam nodded silently. " All right then, " Janet continued. In for a penny, she thought. "Listen, off the record now . Was there any thing that maybe that shouldn't have happened between you and Jack, some little thing said or done, that could have changed the way that you two regard each other? Not just as C/O and second, but anything that made you realize that he had feelings for you, or you for him? Frankly, it wouldn't surprise me a bit, confidentially", she said, giving her friend a crooked smile.

"What do you mean", Sam whispered again, sounding horrified. She jumped off the bench and started pacing the small room back and forth, running her hands through her hair . "Even if there was feelings like that, and I 'm not saying there was, we would never dream of acting on them. I mean, come on, Janet. We're talking court-marshall here. I think that the Colonel and I have always acted more than professionally. You of all people should know that. I mean you see us every day, right?" She almost glared at her friend, plopping down on the bench and clenching her fists in her lap.

"Yes, I know, Sam", said Janet gently. " But there's too much at stake here for both of you not to think it over. I've seen the way that you two look at each other when no one is watching, like you want to let it all out, but just can't. The look in his eyes would make any woman melt, let me tell you," she smiled.

Sam was silent for a few minutes, then tucked her legs up around her again, and started to rock back and forth slowly and unconsciously while she talked . She kept on swallowing as if the words got stuck in her throat, and she needed air in between them to get them out. The story she was telling sounded almost as alien to Janet as any off world creature did. This wasn't the Sam she knew, she realized. This was a Sam that had been locked away, maybe since her mother had died, maybe as a safety precaution against all the rules and regulations that would come crashing down on her as surely as anything, maybe as a barrier against getting hurt, who knew. But this was the real Sam she was hearing , she suddenly thought. This wasn't the cool professional solider, the brilliant scientist, the buddy to Daniel, Teal'c and herself. This was the woman. The one who lived inside the shell she had created, loved a man, carried her dreams and desires in a secret place in her heart that she never had let open to anyone. Ever. Until now.

"Janet, you know that things have always, always been professional between the Colonel and me", she said softly. The vulnerable look of longing that appeared on her face was something that Janet never had seen before, and made her heart ache .Her voice continued jerkily. "Part of me pushed it all away. Afraid to face it. The cool detached soldier. And with the other part, I always thought that maybe I was, I don't know, maybe reading into it, imagining something that wasn't there. Even on all our missions he always acted professionally, never crossing that line, never doing anything that we would have to hide from acknowledging openly. Even when we were in the Antarctic together, it was something that later seemed almost in a dream, that any look or words we shared was something I was almost afraid to analyze in case it all exploded into the open... Her voice continued now, stronger and quicker, as the words seemed to burst out of her like a long suppressed dam. " But on this mission, I suddenly realized that I was hiding those feelings. Pretending and lying to myself that they didn't exist. Because deep down I had wanted to believe, Janet. I realized that. I had wanted to hope that someday he would care for me. And love me. Not just as a friend, or teammate, or anything like that, but as a woman. Because I love him. Jack O Neill. I love every smirk on his face, every grey hair on his head, every smart remark that comes out of his mouth. Not as my C/O, not as the Colonel, but as the man I will love with the very last breath I have in my body. I guess I always have and just pushed it away. But now I know .I love him and he loves me. Forever.. And it can't work for us. And I couldn't tell what happened because of the regs. " she said quietly, her voice breaking, and she dropped her face to her knees, scrunching it up to hide the sudden flow of tears from her eyes.

"What happened, Sam" , Janet asked, almost openmouthed throughout, yet sitting almost frozen, afraid that some involuntary movement on her part would stop the torrent of words.

Sam swallowed again, and gave her friend a little half smile, as if almost ashamed of her tears, and reached out and took Janet's hand, squeezing it as if to give herself moral courage for what came next.

"We were in the hallway, and I woke up on the other side of the barrier from Jack. . Jack was there and he woke up and tried to break the force wall but couldn't. I told him to leave, but he wouldn't .He kept hitting the control box trying to smash something that would release the field. We could hear the Jaffa coming and I screamed at him to just go. I didn't want him to die, but didn't realize why at that point. Then he screamed back at me " NO!", and we faced each other over the force field. I felt, I don't know like I couldn't breathe. Like I was drowning, Because at that moment I realized that the reason I didn't want him to die was that I loved him. And that the reason he didn't want to abandon me was that he loved me. I was stunned. It was so plain to see, Janet. In his eyes. On his face. It was like we had been wearing masks all these years that were stripped away . I just know if there had not been a force field, we would have held on so tight to each other that we never would have let go…and then I wanted him to go, so badly, so at least he would live, because I knew I didn't care if I lived anymore if he wasn't there with me…"

Her voice trailed away in a mixture of a laugh and a sob, and Janet took her friend into her arms again and rocked her back and forth.

" Now what, " Sam gulped. "How do we get out of this mess. If General Hammond finds out… we'll be court marshaled, or at the very least, divided up."

"Well, trust us, " Janet said firmly. " Sam, Daniel and Teal'c are going to talk to Jack now. They may have been already. So we are going to work this out. I think we can work it so that you and Jack can be retested without General Hammond or any other base personnel being present. Except for myself and maybe Teal'c. .Daniel can see that Hammond occupied with the official dignitaries. And what is said in that room, whatever it is, stays in that room. Unless you or Jack decide otherwise. And that," she continued, " is something that you and that man will have to work out between the two of you. " She grinned at her friend with a look of " wow are you lucky" that made Sam smile too.

" Oh, Janet," Sam said softly. "This is something I don't know if I can ever repay you all for."

" Yes, you can, " Janet answered just as softly. " Just see that you end up happy finally with the one you love, ok?"

The only answer was another tight hug as Sam and Janet at each other, realizing that what they had shared here only deepened what was the start of a life time of sharing. Dreams and hopes. Joys and sorrows. Laughter and tears.

Friends.


	3. Daniel and Teal'c talk to Jack

Daniel and Teal'c walked down the halls of the SGC toward the isolation room where Jack was being held.

"Teal'c, do you have any idea at all what we are going to say to Jack?" Daniel asked worriedly. "Because right now I haven't a clue, and I really don't want to screw this up by going in unprepared. I think that we should maybe think about this. I mean, do you want to go in alone, or something.. because frankly, the thought of facing Jack with all this now is, well, a little unnerving to say the least... "

" Daniel Jackson, you have fought bravely at the side of your comrades for the last few years. Do you mean to tell me that you can't face Colonel O' Neill when he is most in need of our assistance?" Teal'c asked sternly. "Well, no, since you put it that way, " Daniel said. "It's just that whatever we say could mean the difference between getting him and Sam off and having them locked up for good, and at the very least separating us all, and I really don't want to be responsible for screwing this up, so you are going in with me, ok?

" Indeed," Teal'c answered.

They opened the door to the room where Jack was sitting listlessly tossing a yo- yo up and down. He didn't acknowledge their presence as they came in, just looked up and then down with eyes that were suddenly a stormy colour instead of their usual warm brown.

"Hey, Jack, how are you doing?, Daniel asked him, ranging himself awkwardly inside the door frame as if he couldn't wait to escape.

"Gee, I don't know, Daniel, how do you think I'm doing? " Jack retorted sarcastically. " I'm locked up here like I've committed a crime, that stupid women came in to try to confuse me, I don't know what's happening, I can't think of a damn thing to clear myself or Carter, and I'm starving. So unless you've brought jello, I think you've overstayed your welcome."

Teal'c interjected calmly into the sudden void of silence. "O'Neill, I think it is in the best interest of all that you permit Daniel Jackson and myself to remain. I believe that we have arrived at a solution to this present difficulty, which you should indeed wish to hear.. ." The Jaffa gazed unperturbed at his glaring commander, as Daniel shuffled his feet and became very interested in his fingernail length all of a sudden.

"Well, what is it?" Jack barked. "Don't tell me, the Tok'ra have dropped the investigation all of a sudden?"

" Ah, no, " Daniel said, feeling it was about time he entered the conversation or lose all self respect. "It's just that, well, Teal'c and Janet and I were talking… we were trying to figure something out, and were sort of wondering, that is, maybe if there was any chance, do you think that you and Sam might have kind of unintentionally, of course, left something important out? Something about Sam and you, and well, we know that things have always been very professional, but could that have in some way changed… "

The look on Jack's face would have frozen lesser mortals into a block of ice, yet Daniel stood his ground, blue eyes meeting brown ones steadily.

"Daniel, " Jack finally said in a low tight voice, " I think I have been more than patient with you all this time, but if you go where I think you are going on this, I swear, so help me…

" O'Neill, " Teal interrupted standing like a massive block between his two friends now facing each other almost nose to nose. " I assure you that we are not trying to assume any blame to either you or Major Carter, but rather to assist you in remembering any small detail that might have been overlooked during the proceedings. Is it not the duty of your friends to hear any confidential material, and judge what might be helpful here?"

" Jack, " Daniel said gently. " You helped me out during Shar'ee , and lots of other times. This is my time to help you now. We're your team, and we're your friends. You know that. And you know that whatever is said is entirely between us here, right?'

Jack looked at his team, and stood silently for a minute. Then he turned with his hands clenched in his pockets, and faced the wall. He started to speak quietly. " Listen, T, Daniel, I appreciate it. What you're doing. But I just don't know if this is going to help or make it all worse…" he trailed off as his voice suddenly choked up and they looked down, not wanting to make it harder for him by staring.

" Carter, well, you guys know how it's been. She's my second. She's a soldier. She does the job. And damn well. And the fact that she's a woman hasn't affected it. At least… " they waited while he tightened his jaw unconsciously . " I thought that maybe I was the only one feeling, well, feelings. I mean, come on, I'm older than she is, I've had a family… and thought maybe I was just imagining this. But then on this mission, I realized something. That I really cared. Much more than I'm supposed to. Bottom line, yeah, I love her. A hell of a lot. As much or as more than I ever did Sara. And I also realized that I wasn't the only one. That she cared too.

And that scares the hell out of me. Because now what do we do."

Jack's voice dropped deep, and he sank down on the bench, with his grey hair clenched tight in his fingers.

"Jack, so, what happened?" Daniel asked quietly.

" We were in the hallway, and I woke up, and there was Jaffa on our collective asses any second, " Jack said, the words slipping out tightly. " I wanted to break this damn force field between us, and kept hitting to stop it, and Carter kept yelling at me to just go. And I wouldn't. And I guess I could have just gone, but there was no way. She would have died if I did. And there was not a chance in hell I was going to let that happen. I yelled back at her, and we looked at each other, and all of a sudden it was like a battle going on to breathe. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything but stare at her. And I could see that she didn't want me to go because she loved me. It was all over her face like she had said it. And that she could see why I didn't go. Because I would have rather died myself than lose her. Because without her, my life isn't worth a hill of beans. It was like we had been pretending all this time, and now the the truth was out. I lost someone I loved before. I will never do it again. And if that damn force field wasn't there, I would have shown her, Shown her how much I love her. Taken her in my arms and never ever let her go. ."

Teal'c and Daniel looked at him, and cleared their throats.

" So, now, what? " Jack said. " If Hammond gets wind of this, it's all over. But what else can we do? "

"Jack, I think that I can keep General Hammond occupied for a while when you and Sam are retested", Daniel said urgently. " Teal'c and Janet will be there, but no one else, and I think that we can trust that it will stay in the room that way, okay?"

" I will do whatever I can to assist you and Major Carter" Teal'c said gravely. " I do not think it is in the best interest of the Tauri that we be divided. Therefore, I will work to the best of my ability to keep your secrets in this matter. "

Jack looked at his friends, and for a second couldn't speak. Then as they departed, he gave a small watery grin as he picked up the yo- yo again. 'Hey, T, Spacemonkey… thanks."

"I'll bring you some Jello", said Daniel, closing the door behind him with a relieved smile.


	4. Sam and Jack after the test

Jack strode down the hall with Sam at his heels. She was shaken beyond belief from the Zatar'c testing, and could tell from the tight lines around Jack's mouth that he was too. It had gone well, all things considered. They had done it. They had said what they had to say, with no one in the room that would incriminate them. Sam's eyes watered as she thought of their friends who had put their futures on the line to keep their secret. Janet's hug and whispered encouragement as she started, Teal'c being the rock that he usually was, and Daniel going to lengths to keep General Hammond occupied with their VIP visitors. And above all Jack. His steady brown eyes enveloping her as she talked, feeling like there was no one else in the room that mattered, nothing else that she cared about except to make sure that he realized how she felt.

"We have to talk, " Jack muttered, as they passed interested personnel going by them. "Not here. My place. Meet you in twenty mintues."

As she pulled up in front of Jack's house, she noticed that, as usual, the place was well cared for, neat without being stuffy, warm and welcoming. When did he get the time to do the yard work and stuff, she wondered. He was so often off world. And she realized how little she knew about the personal life of the man she had fallen in love with. Hopefully now things would change...

"Beer?", Jack asked as he grabbed a couple from his fridge, flicking the lids and handing one to Sam. "Sure, why not, " she said. "I think I really need one about now," she half grinned. "How about food, " Jack said solicitly. " I could order something..."

" No, thanks, sir, I'm not really hungry, strangely enough. Even though I haven't eaten all day...I guess just everything going on.", she finished weakly, sinking down on the couch beside him.

"Ok, " Jack said quietly. "For the purpose of this discussion, things are so not going to work if you keep calling me sir right now. It's Jack. And Sam. Ok?"

"Y-yes, uh, s..Jack", Sam gulped, suddenly getting a cold feeling in her stomach. They had always shared an easy cameradrie, joking and teasing, playfulness that they both knew never crossed a certain line. Now it seemed that all the boundaries were down and she was suddenly scared, like she was on the edge of a great pit looking down at the chasm below.

"Like I said, Sam, we have to talk", Keep it coming, he thought . Keep the lines of thought flowing, so she won't notice how your knees are starting to shake.

Her eyes looked even more blue, if that were possible, he thought. And apprehensive. Like she was afraid of what was coming.

" Sam, " he said gently. " I know you heard what I said in the room. And that's all true. I do care for you. A lot more than I'm supposed to. But I never wanted to say it in front of all those people. When I said it, I wanted it to be perfect. Just you and me. Instead, we got all this happening. So I really didn't put it the way I wanted to, the way I would have if it had been just you and me. The fact is, Sam, " he took her hands in both of his and moved closer to her on the couch, " I'm not any good with words. You know that. I'm scared of saying the wrong thing and messing up.

But I want to say this. I love you, Sam." He pulled her into his arms and buried his head against her neck.

"I have loved you since the first day you walked into my life in the briefing room. I love you so much that I can't imagine life without you any longer. I want to see you each day, be with you each night, and never, ever, let you go again. .

I want to work it out so we can be together, retire or whatever, and I need to know that you feel the same way…" , Jack's voice trailed to a whisper as she lifted her head and stared with shimmering eyes into his deep brown ones.

"Oh, Jack," she said quietly. " I do feel the same way. I love you so much. And I always have too, only I was just so scared to admit it to myself, in case I got hurt. And the thought that you would quit for me.." She squeezed her arms tighter around his neck, and poured all her heart into meeting his kiss with her own. All the repressed emotions of years passed seemed to vanish as if in smoke, as they lay back on the couch with their arms around each other and legs entwined, hungrily exploring the taste and feel of each other for the first time, staring with wonder and delight into each others eyes, and diving down into the intoxication of sensation at the feel of hands on flesh, roaming and teasing.

" Sam, " groaned Jack what seemed like an eternity later, pressing nibbling little kisses along the corner of her jawline before capturing her lips again. " I think that if we are going to stop we have to do it now, otherwise I won't be able to."

"Oh, please don't", Sam moaned, arching her back so she fit tightly into the crook of his arms again. " I can't bear it if we stop, I have wanted you for so long, Please, Jack, I love you. And you love me. It'll be all right. "

" Sam, listen to me. " Jack pulled her up to a sitting position, her eyes cloudy with love and passion. " I want you more than anything right now, but we have to plan here. I don't think that things can work unless one of us leaves. I don't think that either of us would be happy with an affair that no one knows about, sneaking around, like we have to be ashamed. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you openly. So that means leaving. And seeing as how I am close to retirement anyway, that means me, ok? "

" All right, " Sam whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "But it won't be the same without you in charge of SG1 anymore."

" Well, I'll talk to the president and the general tomorrow, " Jack said. "We'll figure out how I can do this. But if worst comes to worst, and I end up staying for a bit, we might have to put things on hold, and just realize that things will work out for us. That we will be together. Just a little longer waiting , that's all. "

" And in the meantime…" Sam said quietly.

" We have tonight, " Jack smiled slowly, lowering his lips to hers again.

Later that day.

Sam stretched her toes to the end of her boots, and yawned sleepily and dreamily as she pulled her locker in the SGC open.

Thinking of the man who now shared her bed, her life, and her heart.

She didn't think that it was possible that she could love him any more than she had before, but the night they had shared had awakened hidden depths in her soul. When he carried her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed, she knew without a doubt that this was right, that all she wanted was to spend every waking moment of the rest of her life in his arms. Having his children, loving and laughing and being with him, body and soul.

She remembered how his eyes filled with tears as they finally were joined together, and how she had felt more alive, and more happy then she had ever felt in her life before.

That no matter how long they had to wait, it would be worth it. To belong to each other instead of just existing. To trust, to laugh, to share and to love. .

She pulled a small box out of the top of her locker, and her eyes widened as she opened it to find a small gold heart on a chain . She turned it over, and smiled mistily as she read the single message there.

Someday.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

In a hidden Tok'ra underground.

A couple of years later.

"Freya, this communication just arrived for you from the Tauri on Earth," one of the scientists said .

"Jacob Carter just brought it back from his visit."

She opened it up, and a slight smile passed over her face, then a sigh escaped.

" Thank you, Nanouf. I appreciate you passing it on to me."

She picked up her long skirt and walked slowly into the next tunnel, leaving the Tok'ra staring openmouthed at her unusual behaviour.

The paper fluttered to the ground where the words could be plainly read.

Dear Freya,

Thank you for the Zatar'c testing. Even though you didn't mean to, it was your work that made us realize the truth about one another.

Forever in your debt.

signed,

Gen. (retired) Jack and Samantha O'Neill.


End file.
